Saturday, January 20, 2001

Blaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, I just finished my first week of the second semester. I'm already piled with assignments. Poop. Can you believe it, I have to read 77 pages out of my French book for Tuesday! Grr! Plus, I have two big assignments due in less than three weeks, and...oh whatever, I really don't feel like talking about school now.

Holy guacamoley (I dunno how you spell that, lol), the concert is NEXT WEEK!!! Oooooohhhhhhh man, my first concert ever! And it's to see THE MOFFATTS!!! Dang, I could've gone to that Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert a couple of years back, but it was sold out by the time I decided that I wanted to go. lol, you would think that I would've gone to the Bon Jovi concert in Noveber '00, but I had a damn Humanities exam the next day (not to mention, $$$ for good seats). Oh well, I wanted my first concert to be to see the guys, after all.

I've been reading this post at the MMB about Ouija boards, and there were all these girls who claimed that something creepy happened that involved that game, like a candle almost tipping over even though no one pushed it (and it would've set fire to the pad of paper on the floor if no one caught it on time), and the board falling off a shelf even though it was placed carefully so that it wouldn't fall, and a girl's mother saw a dark figure motioning for her to come with it. The Ouija board that I bought for my brother is in the basement now, and I'm kinda scared of it, lol, after reading those stories. I normally wouldn't believe stories like that, but what profit would those girls get by making those stories up? That's what creeps me out. I never really thought of Ouija boards as a source of evil or anything like that. I always thought it was just a dumb game. Now it's giving me the heebie-jeebies. I'm a bit tempted to go use it now, because there's still a part of me who is sceptical and wants to prove that there aren't any spirits that are gonna contact me, but...oh hell, I dunno!

You know what I learned that broke my heart? In French class, this girl told us that in Afghanistan (where women are treated like shit), there was this 14 year-old girl who was being followed around by a boy. The father got angry at her because he believed it was a big sinful thing of her to be followed by a boy (even though she didn't want that kid to follow her around), so he poured gasoline on her and set her on fire. That guy is one f*cked up dude. It wasn't even her fault! What the hell! There are so many men in countries like that who are like that. I started crying this evening just thinking about it. I can't believe how in those countries, men can murder their wives (BTW, these are called "honour killings") if they just suspect them of adultery. They don't even need solid proof; as long as they have a simple suspicion, they have the right to torture or kill their wives, and not get any punishment for it. I can't believe that in 2001, these things are still happening. I feel so bad that here I am in a safe country, and I can't do anything to help the women and girls over there whose lives lay in the hands of dominating men. There was this other awful story I read in the Gazette, where a Pakistani woman was suspected of adultery by her husband, so he tied her up, and cut off her nose and ears. I was even more sickened when, as the police led him out of the building, some other men shook his hand as to "congratulate" him. F*ck. I don't even have the words to describe how disgusting that is. Okay, I've got to stop talking about this, because it's just going to make me cry again.

Right now, I'm remembering how much I've changed over the past few years. I used to really, really moody, so the slightest thing would get me angry and upset. I used to have a real attitude problem (my brother thinks I still have one, hehe) in elementary school, in which I acted all rough so that no one would mess with me. I used to dress really tomboyishly, too. T-shirt and jeans were my usual outfit. You know in that Hanson video for Mmmbop, where the guys are outside and Taylor's wearing that red button-up shirt over another shirt, and the loose jeans? One of my outfits was just like that, except that the shirt was green, lol. A few months ago, when I was watching the video with my sister, I said, "Hey, I used to dress the way Taylor did," and then she said, "Nah, he dressed better than you." lol, grr! Anyway, I also used to have a boring haircut (plain, long hair). Well, my hair's still kinda boring, but not as much. I had glasses, too. When I was 15, I decided that I didn't like myself and the way I looked, so I got a haircut, contacts, new clothes, and I slowly worked on being more cheerful and open. It's kind of weird, when I think about how much I've changed. I'm glad I did change, but it's...you know...weird somehow. Oh whatev, I'm too sleepy to make any sense.

*yawn* I'm going to bed now.