Thursday, July 05, 2001

Wow, how long have I been gone?! Woo, almost five months! Anywho, I'm back, and I'm better than ever!!! I ;)

AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH cegep is so hard! These past two semesters were such killers! Ugh, so much work, so little sleep, so much stress, so little was such an emotional rollercoaster! There were so many times when I just wanted to give up! But I didn't, obviously. :p

I don't have a crush on Kit anymore. I dunno, I just got bored of him. Well anyway, he's moving to Vancouver soon (his family really can't stand Quebec, and their encounter with a racist cop was what finally pushed them to get the hell outta here). I *sort of* like this new guy in my science courses. It's not really a crush, I just think he's really cute and sweet. Hmm, I haven't thought of a nickname for him about...Mr. that's about...meh, I'll think of a nickname later. I'll just call him 'that guy' for now.

EEP I'm already 18! That's so weird! Geez, I still look like I'm 15 or something, lol. Hehe, now, when I got to the MMB, I can officially say that I'm an adult Moffatts fan. Oooooooh, don't I feel special now! ;)

You know what movie is totally kick-ass? A.I.!!! I saw that, and I was crying so much! lol, I was crying on and off throughout the last half hour of the movie, also during that really sad part close to the middle of the movie (I won't blow the story, in case you haven't seen it). I normally don't cry while watching movies (I didn't even cry while watching The Joy Luck Club) but I was all tears in A.I. That Haley Joel Osment kid is sooooo adorable! If I ever have a son, I hope he'll be as cute as Haley! When I was watching the movie, I just wanted to run up and hug him!!! Not that it would've been possible, lol. I can't believe he's 13; he looks like he's 10. Haha, he's just like me, looking younger for his age. It's too bad he didn't play Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace. That would've been really cool. Oh well, Jake Lloyd is okay.

It's getting a bit late, and I'm trying to get into the habit of going to bed earlier than 1 AM, lol, so BOB-BYE!!! Luv ya weirdos! lol

Thursday, February 08, 2001

Ugh, what a week! I hardly got any rest! GRRR!!!!! Check out how long I slept in the past four days:

Sunday night: 2:00 AM - 6:00 AM
Monday night: 2:15 AM - 6:15 AM
Tuesday night: 3:30 AM - 8:00 AM
Wednesday night: 3:00 AM - 6:00 AM

I only slept for THREE HOURS last night!!! LOL, but the strange thing is, I was pretty awake at school. Well, admittedly, everything felt kinda unreal, as if I was walking around in a dream or something, but I didn't fall asleep in class! Man, only THREE hours. That's like going to bed at 10 PM and getting up at 1 AM.

There's this dating game that's gonna happen at my school on Valentine's Day, you know, the kind where two lucky singles get paired up for a date and everything. lol, if I wasn't so shy, I'd try that! But nah, it'd be too embarassing for me. My classmates would be bugging me about it for the next two months, lol.

You know what? There's gonna be a flower and heart-shaped balloon sale on V-day! I wonder if I'll have the guts to buy one and give it to Kit, hehe! =D Hmm, I REALLY wish I could see how he'd react, 'cuz if it would be a bad reaction, I shouldn't do it, of course. Hey, It would be soooooooo cool if he got a flower for me! Oh man, I would melt right there and then! Hey, I'd be flattered if any guy got me a flower! Okay, maybe not any guy, but you get what I mean!

I remember how in Sec. 5 gym, we had to do a gymnastics routine, and since gymnastics is my thing, I was awesome! Okay, I can't compare to Shannon Miller, obviously, but I was one of the best in the class, and that made me feel so good about myself, 'cuz I suck at pretty much all the team sports we played. When someone did their routine, the others didn't have to watch. They could just continue practicing their own routine while that person was being evaluated. But when I was up, everyone stopped and watched. *grins* Yay, I feel proud of myself! I'm not trying to sound full of myself, it's just that I'm happy that I had the chance to prove that I'm good at something in gym. I only made one mistake: when I was doing a handstand, I accidently fell, *almost* falling on my head, but luckily I brought my arm in front of my face in time and braced it, so I didn't get hurt. But some people thought that I actually fell on my head, though...Oh well, I did everything else really good.

The best part of that day is that Kit saw me do my routine. I hope I impressed him! ;D His routine was pretty interesting. He's okay for a guy. I think he was trying to include some kung fu moves, which was pretty cool.

Oh oh oh! You know what else? At the grad trip, we tried this thing where you have to hold on with your hands and legs (you just sort of loop your legs around it and hang on with your back facing down) to a rope attached to two trees and by pulling yourself with your arms, you had to get to the other side. It's just like those exercises they do in the military, hehe! Anyway, the first people to try it were all guys, and then I said that I wanted to try it out, too. The camp leader was like, "Alright, we've got a girl who wants to try!" I took longer than the guys (it was my first time, after all), BUT I was the ONLY girl to make it to the end! YAAAAYYYY, Kit was there again, and I sure hope he was impressed again! In fact, Siberia took a picture of me doing that military rope drill, and Kit in in the backround watching. Hehe!

ALSO, another game we played was one where there were two long ropes hanging horizontally over a large puddle/swamp, and you had to keep your feet on the bottom rope and hang on to the top rope, and get to the other side without falling in the water. There are two people playing, one on each side, and the first person to get to the other side wins. It's not as easy as it sounds, 'cuz the ropes weren't perfectly tight, so you wind up swinging back and forth if the other person shakes the ropes too much. I went up against this really macho soccer player dude, and I'm pretty sure that some of my classmates were thinking, "There's no way Muriel can win." Well guess what, I DID win! YAYAYAY!!! ME, against a soccer player! A GIRL won against a MACHO SEXIST guy! GO GIRL POWER!!! lol, that guy's soccer coach was among the people in my camp group! I wonder what he was thinking, seeing one of his players lose agaist A GIRL, hehe! Yeah, so anyway, another reason why that moment was so sweet was that YUP, KIT was there, he saw me win, and heeheeeeeee, I sure hope he likes strong girls!

Oookay, I'd better stop going on and on about my greatest moments (hey, I'm so modest most of the times, so it doesn't hurt to be damn proud once in a while, eh?). Hmm, I'd better get started on my lab report *groans*. The sooner I finish it, the sooner I can go to bed!


Friday, February 02, 2001

Hey hey, awesome concert! I finally got their autographs! YAY! Scott said "Thanks for coming out" to me! OMG, Scott Moffatt said something to me! That's so cool! It feels so good when your crush says something to you *sigh*. Dave smiled and said Hi (hmm, Dave, what a sweetie), Bob didn't say anything, though. He MIGHT have said something, but I certainly didn't hear anything. Clint didn't even look at me. Boo. Oh well, I guess the twins were tired.

Strangely enough, I'm not upset that the concert's over. As long as I have my autographed poster, lol. I'm happy it happened. I'll cherish the memories of that concert forever. Well, except for all the pushing and shoving in the crowd, the stuffiness and stinkiness of the Spectrum, the fact that I got hit in the nose by the fans scrambling for Bob's drumstick (he threw his drumsticks into the audience), the fact that I REALLY had to go pee, and the death threat I got from that girl in the line-up (notice how I don't insult her? Ha, I'm civilized). Other than those, the concert was amazing. lol, there have been things that were REALLY good, and others that were REALLY bad, so I guess they balance out.

I'm actually thinking of asking Kit out. I talked about it to Siberia today, but she thinks that it's a bad idea. She seems pretty sure that he'll say No, and that he'll just be freaked out that a girl likes him. I dunno, I still wanna do it! I'm not in love with him, so it's not like I'm going to be devastated if he says no. I may feel a little rejected, but I'm not going to break down or anything.

Besides, the way I see it, I don't want to just sit around waiting for Prince Charming to show up. Hell, I'll friggin' go look for him! But I'm wondering, *IF* he says Yes, would he seem like less of a man if front of his friends? I'm not sure if those dudes think that it's the guys' role to ask the girl out, and not the other way around.

I'm a bit worried that if he says No, he'll then tell all his friends, and they're gonna laugh at me or something. Hmm, that's no good. Also, it would be REALLY awkward the next time I see him. It's like, "Oh, uh, hey Kit. Wassup?"

Bleh, I'm really tired now, so I'll be gone. Ta ta!

Thursday, January 25, 2001

Holy moly, the concert is tomorrow. TOMORROW! Oh man oh man oh man...

I wish I didn't have to go to that damn Physics lab. Grr, it's annoying how if you miss ONE class, you could fall behind big time...Oh well, at least that's my only class tomorrow. I couldn't do any homework tonight 'cuz I just couldn't concentrate. Too excited! I know that I shouldn't get over-excited, 'cuz the concert is gonna be over so quickly, and I heard that when it's over, it makes you feel sad 'cuz you wish that it could go on forever.

My mom's getting all worried about letting me go to the concert because: 1) It's at night; 2) I'm going with people she doesn't know; 3) It's a rock concert, pretty much; 4) She thinks I'm gonna freeze while waiting outside for 5 hours (I probably will, but anyway, lol); 5) I'm a girl (she thinks someone's gonna kidnap me or something, but she never worries about that whenever my brother goes to concerts). She absolutely refuses to let me ride the bus and metro home that night. I guess I can understand that, but I really don't think I'm going to get ambushed by a street gang or anything. Hmm, yeah, I guess riding the subway alone at night isn't safe. But anyway, she kept on telling me tonight that she didn't want me to get a ride in someone else's car, unless it's a taxi. I know she's just worried 'cuz she cares about me, but I'm a little annoyed with the fact that if I were a guy, she wouldn't be freaking out like this. Besides, I may only have an orange belt in karate, but I nevertheless still know where to hit someone where it'll really hurt ; ) .

Good news! Tomorrow's high is gonna be -3 or -1 degrees Celcius. Pretty warm for a winter day. The weather dudes also said that there's gonna be some sunshine. Thank goodness we won't be waiting in a snowstorm.

Hmm, I just read over what I typed, and I don't sound excited at all. Meh, I'm feelin' kinda sleepy now, 'cuz it's been a long day. Oh yeah, I found out that my French teacher's mother died recently, and she (the teacher) found out today through a phone call, so that's why we didn't have French today. I feel so bad for her =( . Apparently, she and her mother were really close, and the mother was in rather good health, so the death came really suddenly and as a surprise. Man, so many people are dying...

I've been looking forward to the mft concert for so long, and now it's just around the corner! Eep! I hope I have a blast! Hell ya!

Tuesday, January 23, 2001

Blech, today was pretty crappy, in that I was sneezing like crazy in class. I think my school is badly ventilated or something, because I had to blow my nose like 9375692 times. I'm pretty sure it's not a cold, because I'm fine right now. Oh yeah, I have an allergy to dust (according to the allergy test done on me, where 1 is "not allergic" and 4 is "extremely allergic", I rate a 4 with dust), so that's why I sneeze so much in stuffy places. I friggin' couldn't concentrate in Physics because of my stupid runny nose. Grrr... Oh well, at least I don't have a cold. I REALLY don't want to have a cold on the day of the concert (3 days away, aaaahhhhhh!!!!!).

You know what? I haven't seen Kit once this semester, even though his locker is really close to mine. That means that we don't have breaks at the same time, plus he's not in any of my classes. Poop. Hey, you know how some people say that if you like a guy, you should just be yourself and go up to him and talk to him? Maaannnn, I'm such a wuss. He was in my phys. ed. class last semester, and I talked to him maybe twice. Stupid shyness! I wonder if Siberia told Luke that I like Kit. lol, after all, Kit is Luke's best friend. Hmm, what were the odds that I'd have a crush on my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. I just wish that Siberia and Luke had invited me too those times when the two of them and Kit went to see a movie. I could've tried to talk to Kit, and maybe we'd hit it off...or am I just dreaming? Gee, how would Kit react if I told him that I like him? LMFAO, I wonder what would happen if I just went in for the kill??? lol, like just walk up to him, grab him, and kiss him! HAHAHAHA, he'd think I'm some sort of a psycho! Well anyway, that's not my style, so I won't be doing that. But it would be funny to see how he'd react.

Ha ha ha...

Monday, January 22, 2001

Hey hey! I'm gonna keep this kinda short 'cuz I've got a lot of calculus homework to catch up on (dammit, dammit, dammit!). Concert this Friday, can't wait! Hell ya! Oh, and if you guys are reading this, hey Paloma! Hey Michelle! Hey to anyone else from the MMB who happened to click on the little link in my siggy! Waaassssssuuuuppppp??? (I've still never actually seen that Budweiser commercial yet, lol. It's from Budweiser, right? lol)

Hey, looks like my best friend didn't forget me after all (well, excluding the concert thing, hehe). We actually had time to chat on the phone last Saturday, and it turns out that she's a little bothered by some things that her boyfriend told her. Apparently, according to the boyfriend (who I've nicknamed Luke), although they wouldn't say this out loud (or they may not even realize that they think this way), men in general view women as objects. Some of the only exceptions are if they found their true love or if they're in their 40's and their hormones have died down. Also, Luke admitted that he was often tempted to act like his older brother: date other girls without the girlfriend knowing. Ooooookay, can we all say A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!! He said that he wouldn't do that because he cares for Siberia's feelings, but if he wasn't in love with her, he would probably be cheating on her. Luke says that many guys are like that. I really don't know what to think about that. If a girl said that, I would assume that maybe she had a bad breakup and was angry. But here is a guy saying how dishonest many guys are when it comes to dating.

Oh, you know what shocked me? When we were in grades 9 and 10, Luke, Siberia's ex, and a bunch of their friends had this little system where they would sell porno magazines to other guys. EWWWW!!!!! You know what I refuse to believe??? (but apparently it's true, *sobs*) Kit (my crush, although that's not his real name. Hey, I don't want anyone from my school finding out who he is, lol!) bought some magazines, too. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! That can't be true! He's such an innocent and sweet guy! That's not true! That's impossible!!! Seriously, of all guys, Kit was the last guy I thought would have a dirty mind. Oh well, Siberia told me that Kit was the one who bought the least number of mags, so it's somewhat comforting. *sigh* But wait, maybe he's not like that anymore! Yeah, that's it, it's just a thing that happens once, but that's it! That's gotta be it!

Okay, I'd better be off now. Annyeung! Bye bye! Au revoir!

Saturday, January 20, 2001

Blaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, I just finished my first week of the second semester. I'm already piled with assignments. Poop. Can you believe it, I have to read 77 pages out of my French book for Tuesday! Grr! Plus, I have two big assignments due in less than three weeks, and...oh whatever, I really don't feel like talking about school now.

Holy guacamoley (I dunno how you spell that, lol), the concert is NEXT WEEK!!! Oooooohhhhhhh man, my first concert ever! And it's to see THE MOFFATTS!!! Dang, I could've gone to that Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert a couple of years back, but it was sold out by the time I decided that I wanted to go. lol, you would think that I would've gone to the Bon Jovi concert in Noveber '00, but I had a damn Humanities exam the next day (not to mention, $$$ for good seats). Oh well, I wanted my first concert to be to see the guys, after all.

I've been reading this post at the MMB about Ouija boards, and there were all these girls who claimed that something creepy happened that involved that game, like a candle almost tipping over even though no one pushed it (and it would've set fire to the pad of paper on the floor if no one caught it on time), and the board falling off a shelf even though it was placed carefully so that it wouldn't fall, and a girl's mother saw a dark figure motioning for her to come with it. The Ouija board that I bought for my brother is in the basement now, and I'm kinda scared of it, lol, after reading those stories. I normally wouldn't believe stories like that, but what profit would those girls get by making those stories up? That's what creeps me out. I never really thought of Ouija boards as a source of evil or anything like that. I always thought it was just a dumb game. Now it's giving me the heebie-jeebies. I'm a bit tempted to go use it now, because there's still a part of me who is sceptical and wants to prove that there aren't any spirits that are gonna contact me, but...oh hell, I dunno!

You know what I learned that broke my heart? In French class, this girl told us that in Afghanistan (where women are treated like shit), there was this 14 year-old girl who was being followed around by a boy. The father got angry at her because he believed it was a big sinful thing of her to be followed by a boy (even though she didn't want that kid to follow her around), so he poured gasoline on her and set her on fire. That guy is one f*cked up dude. It wasn't even her fault! What the hell! There are so many men in countries like that who are like that. I started crying this evening just thinking about it. I can't believe how in those countries, men can murder their wives (BTW, these are called "honour killings") if they just suspect them of adultery. They don't even need solid proof; as long as they have a simple suspicion, they have the right to torture or kill their wives, and not get any punishment for it. I can't believe that in 2001, these things are still happening. I feel so bad that here I am in a safe country, and I can't do anything to help the women and girls over there whose lives lay in the hands of dominating men. There was this other awful story I read in the Gazette, where a Pakistani woman was suspected of adultery by her husband, so he tied her up, and cut off her nose and ears. I was even more sickened when, as the police led him out of the building, some other men shook his hand as to "congratulate" him. F*ck. I don't even have the words to describe how disgusting that is. Okay, I've got to stop talking about this, because it's just going to make me cry again.

Right now, I'm remembering how much I've changed over the past few years. I used to really, really moody, so the slightest thing would get me angry and upset. I used to have a real attitude problem (my brother thinks I still have one, hehe) in elementary school, in which I acted all rough so that no one would mess with me. I used to dress really tomboyishly, too. T-shirt and jeans were my usual outfit. You know in that Hanson video for Mmmbop, where the guys are outside and Taylor's wearing that red button-up shirt over another shirt, and the loose jeans? One of my outfits was just like that, except that the shirt was green, lol. A few months ago, when I was watching the video with my sister, I said, "Hey, I used to dress the way Taylor did," and then she said, "Nah, he dressed better than you." lol, grr! Anyway, I also used to have a boring haircut (plain, long hair). Well, my hair's still kinda boring, but not as much. I had glasses, too. When I was 15, I decided that I didn't like myself and the way I looked, so I got a haircut, contacts, new clothes, and I slowly worked on being more cheerful and open. It's kind of weird, when I think about how much I've changed. I'm glad I did change, but it' know...weird somehow. Oh whatev, I'm too sleepy to make any sense.

*yawn* I'm going to bed now.